Why am I fighting to live, if I'm just living to fight
Why am I trying to see, when there aint nothing in sight
Why am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try
Why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die?
someone tell me ...

There's someone in my head, but it's not me...

You lie...i try hard to believe you but still you lie..every time you are lying you tell me its the last time...bu i know this is a lie as well...but i still want to believe you..last time i remember you told me u wont lie anymore...
I have two personalities one evil, one more evil...my more evil one bet the evil one that you were lying..it won...weird how bad is always good...how there is always a shade of grey in every rainbow...maybe im the only one who sees it..maybe i am the only one who's supposed to...why the hell am i the only one who's supposed to read between the lines and understand everything...why do i have to see the deeper uglier side of the fairy tale...why cant i just believe..its just a fairy tale..imagination..why must i need to go to the core..and see the rotten truth..maggots and worms crawling behind plastic smiles of love and concern..blood and filth behind behind every embrace...dark shadows in an orgy behind every warm kiss..IS HELL HOT???well cant be hotter than the rage that builds inside me, everytime i know its fake..
Two heads come close,
i mock in derisive laughter...
Two lips embrace,
and i know it's the lamb to the slaughter...
I am free..yet bound in chains of love and affection...chains of concern and care..chains of hatred and revenge...chains that rust and corrode...chains that promised the future...that now engulf me in their coils...
Wish i could be fake too...laugh,laugh out loud with the world...ignoring the tear at the corner of her eye..the pain in her heart...
"Stab 'em with your steely knives
but you just cant kill the beast..."
How apt...
Does'nt really matter...
I believed you...
and you LIED...

why do I feel like this?
who are you?
how did you get here?

you are here for a reason.
to make me strong.
to make me open my eyes.

i trust you.
i barely know you
yet I trust you.

this feeling is trust.
it swarms all through me.
through my scarred body.

weird how I trust
someone I don’t know.
but I do.

there has to be a reason.
i try to search for it.
Deep in myself.

it is because I know.
i know i am supposed to
trust you.
so I do.

if I don’t
let you take my hand
and guide me
where I need guiding
what will become of it?

i will be lost.
i will be dead.
i will be frozen in the dark.

you are here now.
and i trust you...

she saw me looking at her...but she was oblivious to my gaze...oblivious to the world around her..the sweet taste that he left in her mouth was all she could think about.the warm embrace,the roughness of his hands on her back..slowly tracing her spine,going down...she knew i was looking...silent..unbelieving..but she was too lost in him to notice,,lost in a dream...
the embrace became something more...their bodies now slowly rocking..his face slowly coming down her neck..down her collarbone...as i stared.they sat down on the bed...his hand on his waist..
'been so long since i last saw you..',he whispered in her ears...
'i know...was terrible', she replied...
his hand gone up now and was resting just below her left breast...she put her arm around his shoulder pulling him closer..she was just wearing a sphagetti...and evrytime they spoke he kept starin down her cleavage...she never noticed...i did.
suddenly she noticed me...'oh how rude of me..', she seemed flustered..
she motioned me closer...'should have introduced you..'
she was almost mumbling now...looked up at me...i just caught the first few words...
" meet Daddy ".

Waiting in a room
All dressed up and bound and gagged
To a chair
Its so unfair
I wont dare move, for the pain
She puts me through is what I need
So make it bleed

Im in distress, oh mistress
I confess so do it one more time
These handcuffs are too tight
You know I will obey, so please
Don1t make me beg
For blood, sex and booze you give me

Some say i1m disturbed
But it1s what I deserve, another lesson
To be learned...from a girl called kill
My head is in the gutter
Thank you sir, strike up another mandolin
Of discipline
Throw me to the dogs
Let them eat my flesh down
To the wood
It feels so good...

i lost you to distance,
i lost you to time;
i ran to retrieve you,
but there was too long a line...

too many people
standing in our way,
not enough hours,
not enough days...

a relationship torn,
and two hearts too worn;
the battle was lost
at an unrecoverable cost...

and the rest of our lives,
we'll live in regret.
trying to remember,
what we once tried to forget....

Make Belief..

Last night I dreamed.
Everything was picture perfect, beautiful, lovely.
Last night I thought
that someone was here with me, out in the snow,
to make my journey seem a little less cold.
Last night I smiled,
drowned in beauty, pierced by perfection,
yet feeling so much mirth as I sank into the abyss.
Last night I lied.
I told myself I wouldn't be alone when I awoke,
made myself believe, yearn, and hope.
Last night I hoped
that I could stay forever in that moment of perfection and peace.
Last night I dreamed...
That someone loved me.

Disturbed...

life is not long enough to live
nothing is real to take or give

a battle to live till the end
u love and you are the fiend

a princess lost in a forest
treated as a treasure wrapped in a chest

drenched in blood n soaked in bleach
voices crack bu still i screech

death keeps mocking till i die
left with eyes glazed n souls dry


bu death is just an extension of life
where we live to recollect the strife...